Detox Diaries: Cleanse Day One

I stumble out of my red wine, and Nigella Lawson's Guinness Chocolate Cake induced hangover from the previous evening’s “Last Hurrah before Detox” at my friend Brian’s birthday party. I log into the Sunday Times on my iPad and gulp down my six Wild Rose required herbal pills—bitter aftertaste and all. I follow with the requisite 30 drops of herbal tincture that the instructions have graciously allowed me to “take with water if so desired”.  All this before a basic breakfast of oatmeal with no dairy or sugar. Ideally, the cleanse calls for a bowl of warm Millet. The grain only. Not the Flour. Hmmmmm. Cleanse, huh?

I am happy that my husband is joining me this time for the cleanse. Detoxing can be somewhat daunting and lonely process and especially if you are the one that prepares all the food in your household.  Mutual motivation certainly makes the process more appealing.

The morning continues without a hitch: No immediate issues with the process, hunger, anxiety or headaches. I am now up for it with a renewed sense of commitment!

I begin to plot out the menus for the week, do some research on Food52 to see what ingredients I can substitute into some of my favourite recipes, but also include the foods that we are allowed from the ‘80% of your diet’ column.

So far so good.

The cookbook included with the Wild Rose package is extremely concise and the recipes easy to execute for even the most inexperienced cook.  Unless your diet consists totally of pre-packaged, processed, sodium-laced food, your menu options are many and varied. And tasty as well.

This process confirms for me how well my husband and I already eat—leafy greens, little to no bread, increased fish intake for me, no refined sugar, flour, dairy or cheese. The issue is that my husband is vegetarian, so healthy grains, quinoa, nuts, brown rice and plenty of steamed veggies will be on the menu for the next 11 days.

The hardest part of the cleanse seems to be the complete cutting out of any and all fermented items including vinegar. Oh, did I forget that includes my good friends Wine and Beer? Ouch.

I gobble down my next round of bitter pills and alcohol-y tincture just as we are about to eat dinner. Resounding gurgles from my stomach herald the rest of the evening. I have been diligent with my intake of water – non-distilled as per the recommendation but plain Toronto Tap water.

Right now, it’s still so far so good.

Stay with me, oh gentle reader for the next 11 days of cleansing where I hope to lose 14 unwanted Christmas pounds.

Detox and cleanse well, my friends.


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